I don't even really know what to put right now, but I want to express something, somehow.
I want to talk about working. I've been working since I was around 13 or 14. I worked in a restaurant for about a year, and eventually quit. Coming home from work smelling like grease was disgusting, and $9/hour wasn't worth it.

Next, I began work at Jenny Craig. Lol. You may laugh, hey, even I do. Everybody used to laugh when they asked where I worked and I told them that... I originally worked there because I wanted to save up for my own computer. I did, I remember, it was $600.00 and took me only a month to get. Once I got that, it kicked in. I can get whatever in I want in the world, as long as I work hard for it. Everyday I worked I had that computer on my mind. I achieved it, and it was one of the best feelings and realizations in the world. From that point onwards Jenny Craig provided me with whatever I wanted, as long as I worked for it. I have a lot of stuff, a blackberry, a custom build computer, heck I even spent $220 on headphones! Who the hell spends that much on headphones? I'd call anybody crazy to spend that much on headphones, but really, it was something I wanted, I listened to music every single day, and so I got them.

It's an amazing feeling though. A lot of kids parents buy them stuff, $2100 Louis Vuitton hand bags, Lexus's & BMW's. Me, I got my wants myself. Not that anything I've wanted and gotten can compare to a car or anything like that, but it's still the same thing in a way. When people ask how did you get all of the stuff you have? Did you parents buy you it? It feels good to say I worked for it myself. I mean, not that my parents don't buy me stuff, hell, they get me a ton of stuff. They provide me with everything! But no way in hell would I ask them to buy me $220 headphones, or spend $1000 on a computer when the one they use is only half that! So, it feels great to say I worked for it myself, and got it myself. I did all the research myself, and set it up & learned it myself. It's amazing.

So, now that Summer is over, I need to find a new job. A job that will do the same thing it did when I originally got one. This has proved to be an extremely difficult task. You would really think with the experience I have at my age it would be easier, but nope, it's becoming impossible and tedious. So tonight, I started thinking about Jenny Craig again. Should I go back simply for the reasons I started there in the first place? To provide my WANTS? I think so.
Now, before I was working about 3 days a week, even that tired me out. But right now, I'm probably carrying the easiest class schedule of the entire school, and spend my after schools doing nothing. I've gone out with people here the past few weekends, which has been fun. I've met a ton of new people, which is definitely becoming a good thing. So, do I want to go back? This time I am looking to work 4 evenings a week, and then a full day on the weekend. Perfect right? I could work Sundays, when most people are at church etc. WRONG. JC isn't open Sunday, so that doesn't work. That leaves Saturday, the busiest day of the weekend, because it's the only day. I would have to work Saturdays, which then, scratches off any plans of going out on Friday nights.

So, I believe I have come up with a plan. Monday - Thursday's 5-9. PERFECT. I don't work too late, which gives me time to do any homework I may have, and any I don't finish I have a spare block to work in the learning room on it the following day. That gives me Fridays off with friends. (JC closes when I get off school, so Friday's wouldn't even need discussion) That leaves that dreaded Saturday. Without it, I'm about $300 short of my expectations. But with it, I have absolutely zero social life. (I'm looking to work HARD until I get a car, then hopefully drop down a few of those week days) So, this would work here. Every second Saturday off. Becuase, I don't want to go out EVERY Saturday, that becomes tiring and repetitive. So, if I work every second Saturday, that brings me to my wanted amount of hours a month, and I would be making just over $1000 from work a month.
Hard work, I know. Can I do it? Certainly. Am I motivated? Definitely.

A really close friend of mine has been contemplating on switching to the applied math course down from the pure math course. It's caused her a ton of stress, pure math is HARD, and the final exam is worth 50%. It's HARD. She wanted to switch so badly. But after tonight, she realized she can do the pure, and get into the top university. She can do it. The hardest work possible. If she can do pure, then I can work 5 days a week. We can do it together, with each other pushing one another forward, to keep going, to remind them of their goal. In 3 months, once we've both achieved our goals, the feeling will be beyond explanation. We can look at each other, and say we did it. We made it. Just knowing that, that a friend so close to me will be there doing the same amount of work, pushing me to work hard too, while I'm doing the same thing for her, motivates me. That one key concept of being able to do anything you work towards motivates me more than anything, and therefor, I can do it, and I WILL do it.

Plus, my bicep has gone down increasingly. Not good, I'm weak now! Once I get back into lifting and throwing around those 40 pound boxes, sometimes more than one at a time, I'll have these killer bicepts back in no time! :)
(Plus have money to go to the gym to work on the abs too! woop woop!!)

So motivated. Look out cause' it's over. I'll fix that place up.


Chrissy's family life blog said...

Paul say's that your bicep has always been "weak", you've got a long way to go before you reach his size of killer biceps!! LOL,
WOrk hard bud, you will reach your goals because you always do...you parents taught you well!!

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