Finney' - Saturday

Finney'
Originally uploaded by Spencer Photography

So, right now I'm in a pretty modest mood I guess. I'm definitely missing Ontario, New York City, & my best friend.

The same shit has happened so many times to me, honestly, you would think I would be smarter by now? I'm the one who everybody comes to with issues, wants my opinion, my opinion is generally quite helpful, and then I end up out of the picture. I guess this isn't building up to what I want to talk about, but, It kind of does. Whenever somebody needs reassurance, I'm always the first to tell them everything will be alright, because personally, I've experienced it so many times. Being worried, can't breathe, etc. and in the end, it was alright. So of course I feel I'm pretty good at calming others down, not so much myself sometimes, but eh, I can't do it all haha!
I just hate how some people can become so caught up in remembering every single person, always making time for everything, putting all their focus into one thing, like school etc. and then becoming so obsolete and forgetting the ones around them, the ones who really cared, and the ones who were always there for reassurance.

Everything was so amazing in the summer, and now that school's in, it's like everything has been thrown away, everything has become about doing and going, that people around you mean nothing to you anymore. Seriously. Ugh.

Another thing that I want to rant about is the way some people explain things. You ask a question such as "whats up" and get a reply to something that needs explanation. "Preparing." Honestly? Preparing for what? Do I REALLY need to ask? Are you seriously going to wait for me to ask? "Preparing to ___" How much harder can that be? Ugh...I hate when people can't have a conversation, or when a conversation becomes fragmented into shitty one line sentences that need further explanation. OR, when somebody say "I hate when ______" And you have to ask "why ____ isn't happening/there etc." Like, couldn't you have just said "I hate when there's only like a quarter tank of gas in the car" (This is DEFINITELY not the conversation, the topic was no gas, but this is just an example.)

I'm frustrated right now. Well, not so much now as I was before. Blogging is pretty awesome, once you type out something bothering you into words, it's like it's gone, out of your mind, now somewhere floating in the internet. I guess it's pretty cool eh. Hah.

No idea what I'm doing tomorrow, hopefully something fun, school sucks. Lol.
My life's about to get REALLY busy too, as soon as I get a job I'm going to be going nonstop. I am prepared for it however, I can do it, because I'm motivated. As soon as I get a job, I want to be hopefully working 4 days a week, evenings only, and then a full day on the weekend. I'm REALLY hoping for Monday - Thursday evenings, Friday/Saturday off so I can do stuff with friends, then work Sunday. (Since most of my friends are Mormon and Sunday is generally a day I do nothing on) WHICH, would result in about $4000 by the end of the year. Which is amazing, I get pumped up just thinking about it. I'm so motivated, and I can do it, and I know when I achieve it I will feel so good, just like I always do when I accomplish something I've been so motivated for. (My camera, biking this summer, etc.)
Which reminds me.. I'm selling my bike. WHY??? I love biking. However, the seasons coming to an end, and I wont be riding until next summer probably, so the extra money from the bike can go to my car, and then after I get my car, I can buy a new, better bike for next summer. Then I can drive to the mountains, with the bike on the back!! hahaha!

It's September 11th.
It is unbelievable to think of the events that happened this day, so many years ago. I still remember the day perfectly, home from school, seeing it on TV, not understanding why my mom was crying out of shock.
It's even more unbelievable to think I was standing on the street across from the exact place the events took place just last month. It really is, and it's definitely a sad topic.
My thoughts are with the families whom lost somebody on this day years ago, and may the ones killed on this day rest in peace.

First Car...

Like with every single thing I do in my life, I take a TON of time thinking about it. Hell, I even over think it, I over think every single thing that crosses my mind, seriously.

Anyways, I've wanted a car ever since I first turned 14 and drove home from writing my G1 test. I plan on getting my G2 AFTER I have enough money to purchase my first car PLUS have enough money for a years worth of insurance in my savings account. I'm looking at around $3000 - $4000.
Now, if you know me, when I set my mind to something, and I want this something bad enough, nothing can stop me. I want a DSLR Camera? I work my butt off and get it. I want everything I have in my room (Now I'm tellin ya, I could sell my computer setup and buy a car, but I don't want to, cause then my photography would be pretty much nothing without a computer.) But everything I've ever wanted so bad, I've gotten. I have pictures of my wants everywhere, my cell phone background, computer background, picture in my wallet. Every time I look at my phone, computer etc. I am reminded what I'm currently working for and dedicating my hard work into.
My current want, something long overdue, is a car. Now...like most 17 year old boys, I love cars, I have all the car magazines, and I don't want some old Toyota. No, I want a car that will makes heads turn. (I'm like that about everything, gotta have the LV bag etc. I guess this might not be such a good thing, but I don't feel cocky about it, it's all stuff that makes me happy.) Back on topic, I need a ride. Now, when buying something, I find a vast range and contrast between the wants. I compare and compare, read peoples opinions, and I mean opinions, every singe person I know has to have some input in my decision. So, anyways, back to the vast range of cars I want...
Now, I guess I lied before, I have a Toyota on my list. The BOTTOM of the list however. A Supra. Here's the list of cars I'm looking at:
(Now, these are "finished" products. I'm looking to drop $2000 on a used vehicle, with a good clean interior and then work on the car as a project. Meaning, the car will be stock when I buy it, but over time (Like EVERYTHING I have eg. Computer.) it will get better. I'm talking my favorite rims, with the 14" subwoofer, tinted windows, lowered body kit, carbon fiber hood, HID lights, interior lighting, the whole package..) So, here's the list:
First, Toyota Supra


VW Golf


Honda Prelude


Acura Integra


Now, I know this might be biased. I mean, different photos, some may be better than the other, however, they're all the cars I'm interested in. Also, WHITE. Must be white, with black rims, red frame, or REALLY nice chromes. Haha, now... the decision. Why is it so complicated? I should just pick the most white person car out of the group. Jokes. Perhaps I could throw all four in a hat and pick one randomly. But what if I get that Toyota. That's at the bottom, cause it's probably the most expensive, considering most are right hand steering here that I've seen for sale. (Expensive!) I'm definitely learning towards either the VW Golf, (Obviously that picture is slightly boring, but still the type of car / year) OR, the Honda Prelude. In that order is what I'm currently thinking about, the Acura is close behind the Prelude, except that I like the back of the Honda better. So you can see how this is a complicated process. The more I think about it the more I want a prelude. But then I think of how easy the VW would be to park, and how much more room I'd have in the back for speakers. But then I think of all the trunk space in the Prelude. Such a tough decision. At least I'm not indecisive with school crap...haha. I mean, the next three months of my life will be put into achieving this goal. (I bet you hate that I don't have the same kind of motivation towards school. But I still do fine. 70's + always.)
I'm thinking of honestly just working as a cashier somewhere. I mean, I've applied at multiple camera stores with to no avail, as well as Futureshop multiple times. I'm thinking of just sucking it up and working 4 days a week 5-10, and Sundays as a cashier somewhere. I mean, I've checked the pays, they all average around $10-$11 an hour, which, from my calculations with the amount of hours I'm willing to put in, is roughly $1200 a month with tax reductions. So, $1200 X 3 = $3600, which is perfect for a $2300-$2500 car, + 1 year's insurance. (Then I drop my hours down to twice a week, I'm able to drive to work, I have money for my phone, gas, and a hundred or two hundred to spend on clothes/food/movies/drinks/games/gym membership & whatever.

(I also have to have a plan for everything in life, this being the plan for my next three months. Goodbye afterschool life of doing absolutely nothing. This will be good, I'll have something to do, time will go quicker, meaning, a car will be parked in the driveway before I know it. Not to mention my EASY final year of high school. I even switched out my Gym to Art, which, wasn't because I'm lazy, it's to make room for being able to work after school, PLUS, art is a million times more beneficial to me getting into a photography programs once I graduate than kayaking down a river in gym in... hah!

What am I feeling right now? I have absolutely no freakin' clue.
The first full day of school was today. It was alright I guess. Not sure how I feel about it yet.
We chose our locker specifically on the corner of the school in hopes for a less crowded area, but nope, looks like it got more crowded than last year. Dislike.
Also, the way people just walk off is kinda annoying. Like..you're in a conversation with somebody, and talking, then another person comes by and says hi, and they sorta somehow manage to shift around to that person, start talking, and then walk away. Like...are you serious? Did that shit just happen? To me? Like...wow. Just wow. I don't even know how I feel now.
First day back to school - and I'm already dreading it. I have to switch out of Gym. Honestly, gym's gotten pretty stupid too. I used to love gym. It was fun... but now they have a week camping trip for the grade 12s, and a ton of off campus stuff. SURE it's amazing, I love it, I should be thankful, not many schools go golfing, kayaking in the river, bowling, skiing, camping, ice skating etc. but it conflicts with so much this year.
This year I want to get working as much as I possibly can. I've applied at Futureshop, (two locations) and a place called Seneal's Camera here. It's a more professional place. Both job opportunities are awesome, and fit my perfectly. Both something I would absolutely love to spend a lot of time doing. Plus, I want to make money, and save up for a car hopefully, by spring 2011. (OR SOONER!!) I've checked online too, I found a 1998 VW Golf - Yellow - Automatic everything, sunroof, steering, cruise control, perfect condition from a dealership. $2,300. Honestly. I would buy that without hesitation if I had $2,300 right now.
So, I'm hoping to work after schools a few times a week, and then hopefully either a full day Saturday, or Sunday. I would like to start saving, hopefully have that amount within two to three months. I want to have the car, insurance for a year, gas money & phone bill paid. I just want a job, I think it would make my life a lot happier right now. Not that I'm not happy, but I just feel so lost without anything to help drive the wants I have.

So yeah, today was alright. School went by fast. I have an easy year, the teachers seem nice so far, I'm REALLY hoping a certain somebody get's her request to change her class so her spare's with mine. I'm also hoping I can drop Gym, move my Art 20 into the gym place, then put Art 30 in place of where Art 20 was. Is that too hard of a request? I need these requests filled by next week too. Hopefully it all works out. Right now I wish I had somebody to talk to. There's only a few people though that I really feel a million times better after talking to, and none of them are around. It kinda sucks, it's making my mood worse, I feel somewhat lost.

I hate when people text you something short too. Honestly, I text "Hey, how was your first day of class?" and get a "it was good urs" like are you fucking serious? .... go on? good. Well isn't that freakin' amazing. Let's end the conversation right there. "Good thanks" At least I have the time to spell out "yours" and even took the time to think about you & how your day might have went. Like wow. People piss me off. A lot of people do. So many stupid people live in this world. Doing some of the dumbest things, like don't they have brains? Think about shit before you just do. Everything has a meaning, and everything impacts something. So seriously, next time you do something, think about it.
Damnet.
Hope everybody has a good weekend :)

Ollie

Ollie
Originally uploaded by Spencer Photography

Well, today seems to be Wednesday. My last day of going to bed whenever I want, waking up whenever I feel, and doing whatever I would like to in the day. It's the end of summer. It was the fastest summer yet, but also the best, and most memorable. School starts soon, I guess that's not a bad then. Hell, I can't even complain, one core, 2 options and spare everyday.. I probably have the easiest course list in the school. So I can't complain. It's going to be a good year, from what I've heard grade 12 has been the best for everybody. I'm optimistic about it, I think it's going to be good. No, scratch that, I don't think it will be good, I know it will be good. I get to ride to school every morning with someone who I care a lot about, and by ride to school, I mean we're going early, because that's the only way she will have the car, this creates time to prepare for the day, get Starbucks, or grab breakfast on rushed mornings. Then the day begins, with my easy classes. English, spare (2 hour lunch) Gym, Psychology. Easy. Day ends, go home etc. So I am positive it's going to be an amazing year. It's the final year too. All our life up to this point has been spent mainly in school. Learning, training, for what? The real world? But...the past 12 years have been the real world? No? I know they haven't. Which to me sounds scary. It's only just the beginning. We have been learning for these past years, to now be prepared to set foot into living life on our own terms. I am happy to be done it, and to be able to get out and achieve my goals and dreams, and do what I want to do. I'm slightly sad however, that it's over. It's a once in a life time thing I guess, (Unless you fail or drop out or something and go back) but I will never see this young age again. I'm not sure how I feel about getting older. I want to be older. I know all parents say no no, you want to be young. I don't full understand it, maybe when I'm older I'll wish I was still young? Probably. But right now, I was to be older, so I can have more freedom, more options, more things to do, places to go, people to see, money to make, dreams to achieve.

I applied for a job a few days back here. I'm worried, I REALLY want this job, I NEED this job. I applied at a camera store, a more professional store than Black's. When I went in and handed them an application, they asked what camera I used. I told them I used a Canon 450D. I don't know if that was enough. She said so many people apply in the store, and don't even know what camera they're using. I've worked long and hard on my resume, and I must admit, I am a little impressed with myself on it. I'm hoping they read it through, and take time to actually check out my Flickr on my business card I attached. I think if they check my Flickr, they will definitely see that I know what I'm doing when it comes to photography and such. I guess I can just hope for the best, and hold the bank down until I get a new income.

Sunday

Eh eh eh. It's Sundayy.
Lol.
I need to get back into blogging, being creative, being inspired, and perhaps inspiring.
This is my last week of summer holidays. It's raining outside (Disgusting rain, not even the nice rain) School starts soon, which is alright. Don't know how I feel about it.
I have all the shopping done and am pretty happy with everything right now. My classes are absolutely amazing, they could not get any more perfect. Seriously, Core / Option / Option / Spare every day, and my spares are even with Abbey! Seriously, no, it's cant get any better, it's perfect.
So I guess I'm looking forward to it, and getting it done with, my final year, school. It's incredible to really think about it, my entire life up to this point has been lived in training, learning, being educated in school. Once it's done.. I'm into, a more free life? More options, more to do, no homework, no waking up and having to go to school. Like wow. It's incredible to think, to know, that my life is just beginning. & not to be cocky or anything, but I'm also pretty confident in what I want to do after I graduate. PHOTOGRAPHY! I already do it!! Can I wake up every single morning, at whatever time, perhaps have work, perhaps have a day off? Maybe even work a few days a week, or work the entire week! Whatever I have booked. That's amazing to me. Being booked. I want that, people to call, want photos, or services, and book me. I mark it on the calender, and that's a day of work. Wow. I don't even know how to explain it really, or if I'm getting this out right. Probably not. Lol.

So, everything's pretty good right now. I'm pretty happy.
I think I'm going down to my buddys house to play some xbox, have an all niter I think.
Gotta have one of those before school starts. I got eyedrops too, cause even looking at computer screen or TV's for like an hour just destroys my eyes. So hopefully they work.

Today my flickr went up 600 views. I was a little worried, I mean, where did they come from?
I did some research and still couldn't find it, but I had a feeling a friend of mine might have been looking at them. So it turns out she was, and she showed her dad, which is really cool. I think they looked at all of my photos, which is also really cool :)
It made me actually look back at some of my older work, some of the stuff I uploaded two years go. And then I jumped back to my current day work, and right as I did that, the goosebumps went crazy!! All over the place. That happens to me when something significant happens. I realized how far I have come from two years ago. From shooting low quality images of bee's with a tiny point & shoot, to spending vacations with my best friend in NYC and producing some incredible work. It's crazy. Comparing my OLD OLD work, to my current work that I'm uploading. It still sends goosebumps down my spine.

Wednesday

Well, here I am. Still alive. I made it. I feel amazing, and am really happy. With everything. My summer has been the best in the books to this date, and I don't think anything else could be better, or have been better. Summer was amazing. Ontario was fantastic, just being there with my best friend makes everything worth it. The long months of working the shitty job, helping people lose weight and listening to complaining, and getting asked to do this and that, over, and over and over. It's always been worth it, anything is worth it. Even going down for a week in the winter to ring in the new year is worth it. And I'm incredible grateful for all the opportunities I get. With working, and with being blessed with such a good friend, and with the fate that has brought us back together with an even closer relationship than we had when we were back in kindergarten. It's unbelievable really. Being in Ontario was amazing, I've said it once, and I can't say it enough. I can't even find a word that emphasizes how great it truly was. We don't even have to be doing anything, just hanging out, talking, watching movies, walking around the town, everything. It means a lot to me.

New York City, was honestly a dream come true. Never had I thought that at my age I would be making to it NYC. Sure, maybe I thought someday when I'm hopefully a famous photographer I would travel down there to do something for perhaps Vogue or Elle magazine, but not at my age did I think I would be visiting NYC for a vacation - with my best friend. Seriously? I can't even describe it! It was unbelievable!! I didn't take too many photos, however, the ones I did take turned out to be breathtaking. Looking over them I can't even believe I can say I took that shot, or that it's mine! So, later today, or, within the next 10 minutes here I'm heading out to the mall, I need a new pair of jeans, and I am bringing in the stuff I want to get put into the books. (Like I did last year) So this means a book will be sent out your way, probably not for a little while as it takes them ages to finish, and then mailing it will takes a few days too. But I will have it done, and I can't wait for you to see it Chrissy! :p
Hehe. New York City 2010.

So yes, I don't even know what else to write about my summer. If I tried, I would just end up all excited about how freakin' unbelievably awesome it was and eventually start just mashing the keyboard out of frustration of not being able to find the right words...something like "zaskrfgahjekrghsegrkhwl3t4298dfgaesrgaejrghakergjhsekjhrgiajwehrighaeirgaedrg"
And then I would mistakenly press a series of keys that would turn my entire computer off, and then it would all go down the drain. Hahaha! So I'll refrain from it for now.

Definitely keep checking out my Flickr.
I'm uploading one photo a day in moderation, with a few breaks from NYC upload to Cambridge uploads. Mainly of Ollie, or really cool doors that caught my eye. But yes, keep an eye on there. Check it daily as I'll have something new everyday!

Also, thank you so much Chrissy, & Paul, & Kailey & my broski Braden.
Seriously. That was the hardest goodbye so far. I was all confident in not being teary eyed this time, because I guess it was closer to school, and I had stuff to look forward to about coming home too, but right at that gate, it all went downhill and Spencer almost cried. I did cry, like what the hell kinda man cries at an airport. Well, I do. All the way through security. The lady looks at me "Any aerosols, liquids, firearms in your bag?" I just shake my head no... She starts putting the bag into the bin. "Are there cameras, laptops, cell phones, mp3 players in here?" I shake my head yes. She said it kinda sarcastically. I just dumped it all out and let her put it in separate bins. The lady after the scanner was sympathetic though, I'm not sure if she had been watching me from the gate, I felt she had been, I don't know why. I think I beeped when I went through, and she asked to see my hat. I guess the top has metal in it, but she made me smile when she said she really liked the hat, and wasn't going to confiscate it only because it was Superman, and not the blue jays :) So thank you guys, so much. I can't even put how thankful, and grateful I have such amazing people in my life. You guys are like family, and I care about you all like family. I had an amazing time, and am so thankful for it, and couldn't be happier. I hope you guys all have an amazing rest of the year, and perhaps I will see you on New Years again or something? :)

Ps: Sorry I didn't get this up sooner. Seriously, I'm like "Chrissy! I'll have a blog up tonight" *Crickets* Where's the blog?
Okay okay, I'll have it tomorrow for sure...
As I'm sitting in a movie with Abbey, *Crickets*
haha, so now it's 11:41, and I'm off to the mall to have these books done! :)

No easy way to say goodbye

No easy way to say goodbye
Originally uploaded by Sergio Buss

Goodbyes are always the hardest. July 27th - August 21st went by incredibly fast. It was an amazing time, more than words can express. School starts soon, that means saying goodbye to everything summer brings. Soon it will be 6 months of snow, cold mornings, (and I mean COLD as in -38C school's still open) Goodbyes are always the hardest.